Published by
The Institute for Advanced Band Director Research
(Department of Unexplained Educational Phenomena)
Introduction
Researchers have determined that the average freshman enters band camp believing they speak English.
This condition typically lasts between six and twelve minutes.
Initial symptoms include:
- Optimism
- Confidence
- Proper hydration
- Trust in adults
- Basic understanding of language
These conditions deteriorate rapidly following first contact with a Band Director.
The freshman arrives.
The band director arrives.
The temperature is already 94 degrees.
The freshman still possesses hope.
This condition will not last.
