Abstract

For generations, scientists have studied dolphins.

Linguists have translated ancient Greek.

Archaeologists have deciphered Egyptian hieroglyphics.

Yet one language remains largely undeciphered:

Band Director.

Band directors possess a remarkable ability to communicate complex musical, visual, emotional, spiritual, agricultural, meteorological, geographical, and occasionally dental concepts using phrases that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Even more remarkable, veteran band students understand these phrases immediately.

Freshmen do not.

This study seeks to document the phenomenon and improve freshman survival rates during the critical first week of band camp.