Published by
The Institute for Advanced Band Director Research
(Department of Unexplained Educational Phenomena)
Chapter 4: Agricultural Directorisms
Researchers remain unable to explain why approximately one-third of all Directorisms involve farming.
The phenomenon is widespread.
Further study is required.
Case Study 12
Director Statement
"Some of your peaches don't have fur."
Scientific Translation
The final chord lacked warmth and resonance.
Freshman Interpretation
Agriculture has entered the curriculum.
Veteran Interpretation
The clarinets released early.
Again.
Case Study 13
Director Statement
"You sound like a weed eater in heat."
Scientific Translation
Tone quality has become harsh, aggressive, and uncontrolled.
Freshman Interpretation
I have become lawn equipment.
Veteran Interpretation
Trumpets.
Probably.
Freshman Question Box
Freshman
"Why are we talking about peaches?"
Senior
"We're not."
Freshman
"Then why did he say peaches?"
Senior
"You're asking the wrong questions."
