Chapter 1: Initial Director Contact Syndrome

The first documented Directorism frequently occurs during marching fundamentals.

The director studies the field.

The director studies the form.

The director removes sunglasses.

The director appears disappointed.

The director then announces:

"Eight to five is never ten to two."

The freshman immediately experiences confusion.

The sophomore nods.

The junior agrees.

The senior says:

"Yep."

The freshman begins questioning previous educational experiences.

Case Study 1

Director Statement

"Eight to five is never ten to two."

Scientific Translation

There are eight standard marching steps between two five-yard lines.

There are ten smaller marching steps between two five-yard lines.

The two are not interchangeable.

Freshman Interpretation

Band has become mathematics.

Veteran Interpretation

Somebody is standing in the wrong county.

Parent Interpretation

The school has introduced advanced geometry.

Case Study 2

Director Statement

"Pick it up before you put it down."

Scientific Translation

Increase foot speed.

Freshman Interpretation

This appears physically impossible.

Veteran Interpretation

Move your feet.

Now.

Freshman Adaptation Model

Researchers have identified four stages of freshman adjustment.

Stage 1: Confusion

The freshman hears:

"Eight to five is never ten to two."

The freshman assumes a geometry lesson has begun.

Stage 2: Panic

The freshman realizes everyone else understands.

Stage 3: Adaptation

The freshman begins nodding despite having no idea what is happening.

Stage 4: Assimilation

The freshman eventually says:

"That was definitely a ten-to-two."

without knowing why.