Published by
The Institute for Advanced Band Director Research
(Department of Unexplained Educational Phenomena)
Chapter 2: Director Behavioral Indicators
Researchers have identified several visual warning signs that frequently precede major Directorisms.
Early recognition may reduce emotional trauma.
The Backwards Cap Event
The director rotates his cap 180 degrees.
Freshmen frequently mistake this for a fashion choice.
Research suggests otherwise.
Meaning . . .
The rehearsal has encountered resistance.
Potential causes include:
- Drill problems
- Music problems
- Trumpet problems
Historically, trumpets remain the leading cause.
The Skyward Gaze
The director slowly looks toward the heavens.
Silence follows.
Meaning . . .
The director is asking a single question:
"Why?"
No answer has ever been recorded.
The Collar Pull
The director pulls his shirt collar forward and fans himself.
Researchers classify this as:
Stage Two Director Heating
When accompanied by an unbuttoned top button, the condition advances to:
Stage Three Director Heating
Students are encouraged to avoid unnecessary conversation.
Director Alert System
🟢Green
Director is smiling.
Proceed normally.
🟡Yellow
Director removes sunglasses.
Correction incoming.
🟠Orange
Director turns cap backwards.
Conditions deteriorating.
🔴Red
Director unbuttons top shirt button.
Patience reserves running low.
⚫Black
Director looks toward heaven.
No further explanation required.
