Published by
The Institute for Advanced Band Director Research
(Department of Unexplained Educational Phenomena)
Chapter 5: Agricultural Directorisms
Band directors possess an extraordinary ability to explain musical problems through farming.
Director Statement
"Some of your peaches don't have fur."
Translation: The final chord lacks warmth.
Director Statement
"You sound like a weed eater in heat."
Translation: Tone quality has become harsh and uncontrolled.
Institute Findings
Researchers have not yet identified a musical issue that cannot eventually be explained through agriculture.
