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The Institute for Advanced Band Director Research

(Department of Unexplained Educational Phenomena)

Abstract

Following publication of Volume I, researchers believed they had established a foundational understanding of Band Director language.

Subsequent field observations revealed a far more complex reality.

Band directors rarely communicate through direct statements.

Instead, they routinely employ a sophisticated system of agricultural references, family folklore, rural economics, church suppers, historical disasters, baked goods, livestock valuations, and unexplained appearances by a woman known only as Aunt Louise.

Researchers have spent years attempting to understand this phenomenon.

Progress has been disappointing.

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